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John Alsdorf's avatar

For me, a parallel experience: I was a lot older when this happened, coming up on my 28th birthday. I had been given a summer job helping teach in the management development program of an anonymous (very) major corporation. We had this particular week an unusually aggressive group of middle-level managers as our audience. I watched, during the early days of the week, as they routinely gave a really tough time, challenging the various PhD instructors we brought in from prestigious universities in NYC. I was scheduled for Thursday afternoon, to lead my session on "Bridging the Generation Gap" -- this was the late 60's, with all the anti-war, anti-everything demonstrations--and as I watched I got more and more nervous.

Then at lunch on Wednesday, sitting with three of these middle-level managers, one of them said, "You know, I'd hate to get up in front of us." Another responded, "So would I." And I realized...I don't need to worry, they're afraid of themselves.

In a practical way, I realized I could take tough, challenging questions and do various things to defuse the "challenge to authority" dimension. For example, "That's a good question, George. How would you respond, Frank, to George's question?" Or, "Tell me, George, what's behind that question? What experiences have you had that make you ask that?" And so forth.

I learned to engage the group members in dealing with their own challenges, their questions; not feel that I always had to have the quick "authoritative" response. In fact, a big part of bridging gaps--whether generational or racial or gender-based--is learning to engage the other, to listen.

A longer term learning, over what became a career in leading management development programs, was that when you're working with adults in particular, there is always somebody in the group who knows more about any given subject than I do. My job is to learn to take advantage of the collective knowledge and experience of the group, rather than to try to be the one with the most knowledge and experience.

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