I recently noticed a comment that someone left regarding my post on the Religious Right that I felt might be good to address. While I am generally not one to shy away from controversial topics, I have never written about one of the biggies: abortion. Considering my background and experiences, I suppose that it is strange that I have never written about abortion. But I have always considered it one of those topics where few people are ever convinced by arguments. So I don't have high hopes of changing anyone's mind but I do hope to give a different perspective on the issue.
Here is what Camila had to say:
Dear Dignan,
I am a New Yorker who grew up around different places, cultures and religions, and I try to not see any of them as exclusive. I came by to thank you for the article about the Christian Right and ask a question.
At this point, we on this side of the Hudson River are unfortunately very angry and feel our values are being misrepresented and ignored in the political process. Part of the anger comes from stereotypes about Christians, because we don't see many evangelicals here. So, thank you.
About abortion, I want to sincerely have answers about what is morality and what is really compassion.
My points: my grandma was poor and terminated four pregnancies with a wirehanger; most crack-addicted children in foster care are condemned to a miserable short and violent life. I just wish they did not have to go through it.
Many of my friends and fellow New Yorkers can't help thinking that legalized abortion is compassion. The only way it can be abolished is through birth control and sex-ed, and most in the Christian Right seem to oppose that.
Now, how a compassionate Christian like yourself and your friends see this difficult issue? Thank you again.
Camila | 11.08.05 - 5:29 pm |
As Camila points out, this is not an easy issue to work through. To many conservative Christians who oppose abortion, those who support abortion are supporters of legalized murder. To supporters of a woman's right to choose, many Christians and pro-life people are cold-hearted people who care nothing about the plight of women in need.
I could do the usual thing by stating facts and statistics about the nature of abortion, why people really get abortions, and the scientific information about the increasing viability of babies younger and younger. But I'm not going to. I'm assuming that most of you have heard these things. What I am going to do is share with you about what some compassionate Christians are doing as a result of their pro-life convictions.
I can hardly talk to friends these days without discussing the topic of adoption. In my church it seems as if there are as many people adopting as there are people having their own children.
One of these families are some friends of ours who decided to adopt after having two boys of their own already. They also didn't pick the easy way either (though I'm not sure that there is an easy way to adopt). They took their entire family to China to adopt a baby girl. As many of you may know, China has long had a policy of forced adoptions when families have more than one child. This policy has been particularly targeted against girls. Over 95% of children adopted from China are girls. One child adopted from China was found with a note that read: "In our countryside, the thought that man is more important than woman is very popular. I myself don't have the strength to overthrow it."
This is just one example of a Christian family willing to get out of their comfort zone for a child. You can read more about their adoption process and trip to China at their blog, Welcome Lilla.
So what about children born into poverty here in America or those women in such dire conditions that they can't bear the idea of bringing a child into the world? Two other friends of mine have been willing to show compassion in these instances.
One of my best friends from college has put his beliefs into action. After having two sons of their own, he and his wife adopted an African-American boy that would have likely grown up in poverty otherwise. Certainly not an easy decision primarily because of the criticism that they would face. But God has prepared them both for this and their adopted son has been a blessing to their family.
Another friend of mine is in the process of getting ready to adopt siblings. Here is what he says about what they are doing:
"We are proceeding with the Georgia State adoption program at Bethany Christian Services. No international, as there are 18,000 kids in Georgia who need homes, and we can't afford to fly to China or whatever. We've applied where the need for parents is greatest, which is in the African-American/biracial program. We have applied for a sibling group of two children. So if we can find a brother and sister (or two brothers, or whatever...) that don't want to be separated, we're ready for them."
I don't know the statistics but I would imagine that many people that are adopting children these days are doing so precisely because of their convictions that abortion is wrong and that they are willing to provide a loving home for children otherwise unwanted. This is compassion.
Comments
Abortion - a topic that divides
I think that there is room to discuss the topic from a personal perspective while avoiding emotion laden outbursts. Otherwise, and especially since it is a topic that has political and legal implications, it will quickly become a hot, hot topic.
My own opinion is that abortion is a necessary but unfortunate service that is resorted to with too high a frequency. People need to have the knowledge, the will, and the opportunity to take advantage of birth and disease control measures if they plan to have sexual intercourse. People also need to be viscerally cognizant that sexual intercourse should not be entered into lightly due to the risks involved. In this day with good condoms and birth control it astounds me that the abortion rates are as high as they are.
And even if one is not planning to have sex, it is prudent to keep some condoms in your purse or wallet, because the desire for sex is primal and powerful. I say that even if you are deeply religious, because deeply religious people can and do end up in sexual engagements sometimes, despite their rational beliefs and faith. (e.g. Ted Haggard.) Since all it takes is one sexual encounter for pregnancy to happen or disease to spread, keeping the helmet handy is wise. (Also, they have a best before date, so keep that in mind.)
One other thing which I don't understand, is why a pure abstinence (including masturbation) approach is emphasized so strongly by many religious folks. Remember how powerful the sexual drive is, and especially as an adolescent. Trying to hold back nature's tide with willpower, belief and faith without an escape valve is asking a lot and it fails frequently, even by people of faith.
As a result disease propagation and unwanted pregnancy happens, and it can be substantially reduced. By all means choose abstinence, but keep some condoms handy as a backup, and make sure you know how to use them properly for lowest risk.
If the idea is to reduce abortion, a multi-faceted approach is required, one that is realistic, that uses the full range of tools available.
Note: I take my hat off to people who adopt for the reasons cited in the article. More power to you.
What Condoms Don't Protect
As a doc, I recommend condoms to everyone who isn't married. The thing about condoms is someone has to put it on. Condoms are nearly 100% effective in preventing pregnancy when used. The problem is that they aren't 100% used. Stats back it up, and I can tell you from querying patients for the last 8 yrs - almost no one tells me they use them 100% of the time.
Condoms offer little protection against the herpes virus - which causes genital and labial ulcers. The reason being that condoms don't entirely cover the perineum (penis, scrotum, inner thighs, vulva,) or the mouth. Likewise condoms don't offer much protection from transmitting genital warts, caused by human papilloma virus (HPV).
The effectiveness of condoms is also cut down if they are heated (i.e. sit in your hot car) or are out of date. A tip to the wise, if you can't read the "use by" date - then the condom is out of date.
I don't think abortion should be considered to be a part of the range of contraceptive and family planning tools. The part most people seem to forget is that abstinence works every time it's tried. Despite the inclusion of sex ed courses from pre-school to high school, millions of people claim ignorance of how this pregnancy could have happened.
If you want to keep abortion of demand for all reasons (including "one of those folks I slept with the other week must have gotten me pregnant"), then be open about it. People are just too sloppy about their sex lives.
The other week a patient came in for "burning down there". On exam, the patient had classic herpes simplex virus ulcers. Lab testing confirmed it. The patient mentioned that they'd had a lot of sex a few wks ago, and was embarrassed at the thought of telling another person with whom they'd entered a relationship that my patient how has herpes and may be passing it them.
This was an adult with an education and a steady job who is living in a dream world where sexually transmitted infections do not exist. At least contraceptives were being used or else it'd be the "how are we pregnant" talk instead of the "how long do I need to take this medicine" talk.
All this rambling to say that many people act like sex is video game - you can play all you want and no one gets hurt. No one gets hiv, herpes, gonorrhea, or pregnant.
The millions of abortions are a testament to our lack of wisdom as a country. Some of these are for the health of the mother (not many medical conditions require abortions BTW) or as a result of rape or incest (both crimes horrible but rarely leading to conception).
The ill conceived fetuses who are snuffed out pay quite a price for our foolishness.
[sorry so long]
on abstinence and such
I easily abstained from sex as a teenager. Of course, our friend Will here can point out that I was a loser geek when I was a teenager, so that may not carry much weight. Within the religious context, it is fully reasonable to promote abstinence - it's what 'they' believe is right, and to vary off that course is wrong. I am certain if the values I held as a teenager weren't along the lines of saving myself for marriage, I would have behaved differently.
As someone who is differently religious now than I was then, abstinence would still be strongly presented as a preferable option for teenagers, in terms of government-school-education, but the realistic view of teaching contraception, about STDs, pregnancy and social implications should all be a part as well, if only because not all share the same values and those values can't be enforced in a ostensibly free society.
That said, I consider my view to much align with Zero's statement, and anything I've said is simply clarification on my own. I'm also glad to read Will's, which were at once unsurprising, but refreshing.
Post new comment